The greatest fall

The world has fallen apart on me numerous times. And each time it falls apart, the hole in my heart and parts of soul fall apart as well. In these times of darkness, I am trying to remind myself that I am courageous and that it will get better. I'm that girl. One with strength for the world to see within sweaty palms of my fragile hands; powerful enough to go through my broken world and rebuilding it one step at a time, one piece at a time. Sometimes I wonder, how can someone have so much strength and courage fall apart over the smallest things? It's like, everything touches my soul and I become so vulnerable to everything. Even with the ones I love most,  I am such. You could be miles away from me but if my eyes fall in love with the curve of your smile or that little sparkle in your eyes when your name gently rolls off my tongue, my soul instantly becomes a soft grain of sand. Everything seems to touch and hurt me tremendously. How can I ever let myself be this weak? Having the world crash on you over and over again is never easy, especially when you're left to rebuild your world on your own. It requires an ocean of courage and I know that deep down in me I have it. Hell, I might even drown in it. But then, aren't courageous people supposed to have a rigid and strong heart? One that does not fall apart over the smallest things. I don't even know who or what I am anymore. Not courageous, not afraid. Prolly just stuck in between these two.

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