Miracles and Magic

At one point of my life, I actually wanted to believe that there is no such thing as vast changes, but I WAS CLEARLY WRONG. It occurred to me earlier today that things do change, even people do. We are like the 4 seasons around this world that change through time. Who am I to blame for being such a fool. I was one being which has way too little knowledge about the realities that revolve around this world. As I ventured into the adventures of my life today, I realised again that good things never really last, because even good friends don't. It is as though we all go through a transition period where one thing after another would fall into pieces and later scatter around our life. It's like broken pieces would end up getting way too scattered to be puzzled back together. It's like there is no way for all these pieces to be assembled as one again. As I write this with a disappointed and broken heart, I know that things will never be the same anymore, in fact, I don't w...

Here comes the night when you start over analysing every little thing that has ever gone wrong in your life. You start thinking about all the mistakes you have made and wished you could turn back time and hope for a better past. Well, that is basically the night that I am going through. As I sit on this bed of mine, memories of the past keep on bugging me and I keep on wondering about the actions that I made in this current life of mine. Things are pretty fucked up that it sometimes make me wanna just blurt it all out in tears. I guess I understand why people cut or even commit suicide. It is because the pain that they have to endure in the process of cutting themselves or even committing suicide is lesser than the pain that they have to go through in their daily lives. It's sad how people who you thought you could trust start to turn their backs on you and it's weird how sometimes your enemies treat you better than your so-called- friends. It's a crazy lil world we live in...

IM TIRED IM DISAPPOINTED IM BROKEN IM UPSET IM SAD I LOST FAITH I GIVE UP. ENOUGH SAID. THANK YOU. I'm done trying to appear strong to everyone. This time, i fail. I'm gonna fall over and over again over the same problem and please, don't lift me up. I'll find my own way . Thank you.

Dear you, I'm not sure if you'll read this entry but I sure hope that you do. After listening to the song you gave me earlier, it actually made me wonder. What if we not make it ? What if there is no such thing as future or happy endings for us? Well, I can assure you that IAMNOTREADY but here are a few words for you :') Regardless of what happens, remember to always be you. Rain or shine, I'll be there for you ;') Nothing is ever going to ruin the memories we once shared. One day, you're gonna be happy with the chosen one :) You're always gonna be that the one and nothing will ever change that. I will always pray for your happiness :) You're gonna be a great 'king' to a 'queen' and she's lucky :) The point is, I don't know what the future may bring but whatever happens, I want you to be happy.I want you to be happy today, tomorrow and always :) much love, your favourite girl :)

I’ve always followed my heart instead of my head. I’ve always jumped, always took that leap of faith into the unknown, having no idea of what the outcome of my actions would be. But now, now it’s so very clear. I need to stop following my hear t. I just need to stop, before I do anything at all. I need to stop and think about it, about what I am about to do. I need to think about whether it is right or it is wrong. Because when you follow your heart, you lose track of what’s right and what’s wrong, and it tears you apart.

I wanna be the one you run to when you're afraid I wanna be the one you cuddle to sleep each night I wanna be that one girl you can rely on in anything I wanna be the girl that you could rant on anything about I wanna be the one you have breakfast , lunch and dinner with I wanna be the girl who is gonna always support you in everything I wanna be the loudest cheer leader when you play football or rugby or whatsoever. I wanna be the one you're always gonna love. I wanna be your girl. Seems simple? It's hard. I know because I've tried being that girl. I know because I went through the past few years trying to be good enough. I know because I've shed too much tears for you. At this point, I'm not sure if we are on the right track. Should we move on with this whole relationship or just let go ? I just don't know. And maybe, I DON'T WANNA KNOW :'(

People say i changed so much. Well, heres the honest truth. I grew up, i stopped letting people push me around, i learned how to be happy, and that goodbyes always hurt. I realised that the ones who are supposed to be there for you, eventually aren’t. That i will get hurt more than once and it will get harder each time. I found out that it’s not that easy to know what love really is, that pictures never replace having been there, memories good or bad will bring tears and that words can never replace the feelings. I realized that i’m sick of being lied to and cheated on. But then again, this is what makes me a stronger person. I’ll forgive but i’ll never forget the most important thing i’ve learnt about life is that ;it goes on so in the end I basically accepted reality.

Right now at this very minute, someone is very proud of you. Someone is thinking of you. Someone cares about you. Someone misses you. Someone wants to talk to you. Someone wants to be with you. Someone hopes you aren’t in trouble. Someone wants to hold your hand. Someone wants you to be happy just for you. Someone thinks you are a gift. Someone wants to hug you. Someone loves you. Someone admires your strength. Someone is thinking of you and smiling. Someone wants to be on your shoulder to cry on. Someone thinks the world of you. Someone wants to protect you. Someone would do anything for you. Someone wants to be forgiven. Someone is grateful for your forgiveness. Someone wants to laugh with you about old times. Someone remembers you and wishes you were there. Someone needs to know that your love is unconditional. Someone wants to tell you how much they care. Someone wants to share their dreams with you. Someone wants to hold you in their arms. Someone wants YOU to hold them in your a...

The world really is bizarre. The innocent people? They’re not really that innocent. The guilty people, the offenders? They have stories that go deep into their souls. The bitches? Sometimes they’re not bitches, just be bitches in order to keep their wall up nice and solid. The people that you think that care more than anything? Sometimes they really don’t care at all. And the people that you think have no idea? They care the most. They understand. Because they’ve been there. Some may say people are just people, but people have lives, families, hopes, dreams, visions. Some people have holes in their heart, and you would never know it just by looking at them. http://tumblrworldofemotions.tumblr.com/

You were so busy with whatever else you were doing that was more important than paying attention to me that you didn’t notice I was fading. I was breaking. Right in front of you too, but you must’ve not had your eyes open. Why? Why did you give up? There’s too many things to have hope for…to have faith in. What’s the point of giving up? And did you notice that one night when I seriously considered throwing away my life? Did you? I guess you were too busy. And you know what, Relationships aren’t supposed to be easy. I’m willing to make it work if you are. As long as you put in effort, I will too. I don’t like when people give up so easily. I don’t think there’s ever really a right “time” to let someone go. If they mean something to you, you should try your hardest to keep them in your life no matter what. No one said finding the right person for you was a walk in the park.Im confused, I'm lost. I don't know which road to take.

I met this one guy and he has my heart but he doesn't know it. It's funny that I'm into him because we are two total different types of beings. At this point, I wanna tell the world how much I love him but I am afraid. I'm afraid of rejection. Afraid of what the future holds. Please God, show him how much I love him. ;'(

Here's the thing about life, when you get here, you are not given instructions. No one will ever tell you that Heart A is meant to slot into Heart B. They don't provide you a diagram about how you are meant to live each day of your life or give you directions to assemble pieces of broken hearts to tie a knot of happiness. You are not even told what colours to paint your feelings with or who to give it to. All of these are simply because it is all up to you. It always has been. At this point I have listed all the feelings that I want to feel before I die, but it seems impossible to feel all of it because I realised that I have to tick almost everything off the list to be more realistic about life and emotions. At this track that I'm on right now, I don't even know which track to choose or which path will lead me to a better life.I'm lost, confused but strangely contented. I don't wanna be what the world wants me to be and I'm never gonna perfect enough for th...