Senseless

I'm never the quiet one. I am far from that. However, I do have those times where all I wanna do is shut myself from the world. Well you see, life has not been a pretty picture for me. I just don't know where to start and the truth is, I feel so helpless. You see, I'm only quiet because I'm worried that if  someone were to push me too far, one day I will open my mouth and scream so loudly that it will shatter and break the whole world. See, that's how messed up things get around right now. There is just way to much to handle and emotions are building up a wall around me. Negative ones. And that's why it worries the shit out of me. You see, everyone tells you to be strong, to have faith and to never give up. But seriously, those shits are not easy. It takes a tough soul to do all that. And right now, I'm trying my best to do so. It's not gonna be easy, but  I don't have any options left at this point of my life.  For the past few days, so many words have been going around my mind building up clouds that would not disappear. The thing is, it's too hurtful to even comprehend and live with. Try imagining yourself getting screwed each and everyday and no one seems to understand. To add more senseless dramas, the one you really love is not even there to understand. Well, i'm so used to being screwed all over with words, but everything has a limit. Don't even know what to say, how to feel or how to react. I guess sometimes in life, those who you feel are so special and important to you, will not feel the same way you do for them.