Tuesday, August 14, 2012

But in the end I will always be there for you.


It kinda sucks when you're in a relationship but you feel as though only 1 party is taking all the effort to make it work. What makes it worst is that the other half tries to be secretive about their life.It is as though they can't trust you with anything. This whole week has been like hell. The only good thing was Sunday night. Apart from that,life was being a total bitch for me. I just can't tell what he feels or what he wants. I just can't tell what he would be like if I were to act in a particular way. Well you see, things have changed. So much have changed. It makes me feel like he is someone new. It is as though I have to read the very first page of a newly written novel. And you know what ? That sucks. Maybe, just maybe if he and I were not that close, I wouldn't get hurt so easily. I'm lost at words and actions with uncertainties fluttering around my mind. I just wanna get rid of all these feelings. At least soon. I wanna be that person he used to share stories and laughter with. I often wonder why he has to be so secretive about things. Especially social networking sites. I mean, he has access to everything that he has to know but I don't. I don't mind not knowing, but I mind when he is too secretive about it. It makes me over analyse and over think every single damn thing. There are times where I just feel like screaming and yelling my hearts out, cry my eyes out and just walk the fuck away. But I know I can't, because in the end I will always be there for him. Regardless of how mad I am with him or with myself, I will always be there and perhaps, if it is meant to be, it will be :')

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