Im officially missing you right now. This makes me feel like humans are weird. Its like from our body anatomy to our emotions, we are just way too complex. I know that i dont wanna miss you but i still do. Everyday when I wake up and open my eyes I wish to see you but then when reality zaps back, i realise that its just a plain fucked up wish that will never ever happen. Seriously, I do miss you and all those teasings are merely dramas or acts to cover up what I really feel. I just dont wanna let you knw how i really feel anymore. You know why ? Simply because I dont wanna get my hopes high anymore. I dont ever wanna get hurt anynmore. I dont want your words to cut me like razor blades anymore. I have been havin so much fucked up emotions running through me that sometimes i feel it is tearing me up, but then im just too clueless to actually stop myself from feeling such way. and you're the cause. I know i have no rights to balme you for all the mismatch pieces of my life, but you've caused me way too much emotional disturbance and im sorry for blaming you. Somewhere across the road of knowing you, I knew that i'll get hurt. I knew that you'd change. I knew that some of reassurances were not genuine. But i also knew that I'd always love you. If i dont tell you how i really feel in future, it is simply because my heart is way too cold for such feelings anymore and im sorry for that.
For now, I love you my favourite average joe :)
always will be